Will you Notice
by Star C. Waters
Summary: Sequel to Think of Me. KuroFai. The group of travelers arrive at Nihon. What will he choose. WARNING YAOI.
1. Part One

_**Will you Notice**_

_**Part One**_

I wont look at him anymore. No, there is now way I can look at him. I have to look away, past him, because . . .

Nihon is a beautiful place. It's fragrant flower, elegant structures and ornately dressed people all entranced me when we first arrived. Now I feel like a fool for having been so careless. Having let myself become like _this._

The people of this world, they move with such elegance and grace that makes my each and every moment seem awkward at best. How have I never noticed that his moments can be so fluid, before now? I had always thought him a little clumsy before this.

Among all of these refined people here ad all the ones i have meet over my long life no one, no one has made me realize my faults faster than Tomoyo-hime. Her soft smile and her smooth warm movements all so awe inspiring, like with the presence of a goddess, but then that softness, that warmth, makes her human. Before our eyes now she had fawns over Sakura and welcomes Kuro back to his home world.

Kuro. . . gane . . .

I can still see his face when we first arrived here, when he looked at her, and then when he . . . looked at me.

I really thought this place was such a beautiful place only moments ago and yet, now I can hardly make myself look at this world. I want to move on.

My eyes were open with surprises, happiness and awe. I had so much, just so much affection for his home land. I feel so foolish now. Nothing now, in the whole of Nihon could truly be beautiful to me. The only person I can think of as such I will not look on anymore. I can feel my heart grow heavier, like a stone weighting in the pit of my stomach.

There was Tomoyo-hime waiting for us.

He looked at her, his face set into a stare of complete dedication. I stepped closer to him then, and he turned to me. I turned away and looked back at the others.

I could stand looking at their faces, their reaction. I could look at anyone but him. Syaoran, I saw, realized first as he looked between us, he understood, and he has such sorrow for this miserable situation. Sakura smiled, she at me not realizing Kuro-gane's intention.

Mokona's expression was sad, but she still smiled up at me.

I know I must look broken, I hope I turned away fast enough. I need to stop thinking about this. Sakura's smile falters as she notice my expression, I have to pull myself together now. I can fall apart later. I force my usual smile, it's a little harder this time but I can do it just fine. . . .

"Whuuu, this world is so beautiful" I say to Sakura as I look around distractedly, and she smiles at me.

Kurogane grabs my arm then and pulls me to him. I pull my arm away and hold it to my chest.

_'No, I can't'_

Still I walk next to him as we are shown inside but I don't look at him. I pretend to be distracted by the palace decorations, though his face is still imprinted in my mind.

It had shown such regret.


	2. Part One and a half

_**Will you Notice**_

_**Part One and a half **_

I look at Tomoyo-hime's face, she smiles widely, in her warm maner. I can feel my heart skip a beat.

'I swear to protect you' I can hear myself tell her.

behind me I feel Fai step forward. I turn to look at him, his eyes are alive with joy and curiousity and wonder. those betiful pale blue eyes, almos hiden by his soft whispy blond hair.

Why, why did I have to swear myself to her.

For a moment before he turns I see relization pass through those eyes.

Tomoyo-hime calls my attetion and I can only just grasp what she wants to tell me. We are heading into the palace now. I can hear Fay speak to Sakura, he voice compounded with that fake over cheerful attitued.

I garb his arm. _**'Will you stay with me here?'**_

_'I can't' _He pulls away, and walks beside me. _'Would you continue traveling with me?'_

I don't try to make him look at me, but I stay instep with him as we follow Tomoyo . . .

_**' I . . . '**_

I step closer to him,

_**'We still have now'**_

and he steps to the side, keeping the distance the same as before.

_'I won't hurt myself anymore than i already have'_

We continue to walk, and still I won't make him look at me and he won't turn to face me.

_**A/n: Yes, this is an unspoken conversation they are both having, it's not just Kurogane's imagination. Hope you enjoyed it. **_

_**On a side note for those who have not seen my profile, I post up the update, dates, there. I have set this one as an irregular schedule, so yeah but i'll still update, worse case is a months delay.**_

LOL, thank you Kalily I hadn't noticed


	3. Part Two

_**Will you Notice**_

_**Part Two**_

Fai smiles at Tomoyo-hime, one of his big closed lip smiles as he dances around the room with Mokona. Together they praise the Princesses loudly and happly for their new clothing.

Tomoyo-hime smiles in return from her seat. Syaoran, Sacker and Kurogane watch the playful two from their seats next to Tomoyo-hime as well. After a while she turns to Sakura and Syaoran. "Do you like them? Would you prefer to wear the clothing you feel more comfortable in?"

"Really they are very lovely, thank you" Sakura tells Tomoyo-hime.

Syaoran agrees. She nods and smiles. From the corner of her eye she can see Kurogane watch the blond ma play with the small white creature. he is completely engrossed. She looks over at the fairer man, as he smiles she frowns a little. Something just doesn't feel right.

Fai notices her gaze. He turns and looks at her. Fai grins. Tomoyo-hime feels as if her support as given out on her. Her whole body feels weak, heavy and painful. She drops her head to her hand, the other clutching at her throat. It feels as if a heavy weight had been placed on her chest stopping her from breathing.

Kurogane snaps out out of his trance then and quickly rushes to Tomoyo-hime's side.

Fai and Mokona stop their fun to rush over as well. Sakura and Syaron are already at her side freting over her and asking what's wrong.

"Tomoyo-hime! What happened?" Ask Kurogane.

Slowly Tomoyo-hime regains her breathing. She looks up to fined Fai and the others looking at her worriedly. He stares worriedly at her.

"Hime-sama?"

For a while she just looks into Fai's baby blue eyes, they show genuine worry, fear and confusion.

Tomoyo-hime looks away, at Kurogane.

"Tomoyo-hime, what was is, what's wrong?"

Tomoyo-hime waves away his concern.

"It was nothing, I . . . I'm just hungry" She assures everyone. She smiles widely at them, and tells them that they should not worry. Slowly they go back to how they were. She smiles at Fai.

"They look good on you"

Fai smiles back. "Thank you!" He cheers and flashes an over the top pose with the help of Mokona. Sakura laughs and everyone seems to go back to normal.

When she feels that everyone has turned away their attention from her, she frowns, eyes glued to Kurogane and Fai.


	4. Part Three

_**Will you Notice**_

_**Part Three**_

Fai feels strong arms wrap around his waist. He stops the memories this action brings to his mind. He doesn't move as he feels the man lay his head on his shoulder, burring his face in Fai's blond locks.

"It's not good to let just anyone get this close"

"If you where just anyone, you won't have gotten this close" Fai tells Kurogane, voice emotionless. Effortlessly Fai pulls away, slipping just out of Kurogane's reach.

"Now, now" Fai says in his chipper voice as he turns to look at Kurogane. He smiles widely and emptily at dark man.

Kurogane stares at Fai for a moment taking in his aloof demeanor so much like the first time he had laid eyes on the slim man.

Kurogane tries to grad the mage by the shoulder but once again he slips away. Fai turns away then and walks away. Kurogane follows but Fai, won't allow himself to fall into step with the Ninja.

"Damn it, mage I told you-"

"Ne, Kurogane?"

Kurogane stops speaking a the sound of his full name being said by Fai. It was the first time that slightly insane man has done so, in such a way.

"Mokona, Syaoran, and even Sakura have been looking for sings of a feather all this time," He says in a very mater-of-fact way, Kurogane walks only steps behind him.

"Tomoyo-hime says there are not feathers here." Fai continues as he walks down the hall, Kurogane notices they are not walking aimlessly but toward the garden exit.

"Sakura likesTomoyo-hime but Syaoran says we have been here for a week already."

Fai stops as they've reached the door that leads into the inner garden. Kurogane stops walking as well a good distance from Fai, deciding it would be better to give the wizard the space he has been demanding this whole time with his actions.

Kurogane sighs. He wants to say something but he can't figure out what it is, and Fai hasn't let him so much as touch him for the past week. This could be the last of their time together.

"Fai . . ."

The pale magician puts his hand on the door, and in one quick movement sidles it open roughly with one hand. Kurogane winces at the sharp noise this produces, and stopping him from saying anything.

Fai doesn't turn around. "We're leaving tomorrow, will you be coming with us Kurogane-san?"

Fai turns, his face all smiles. He leans against the door frame and turns to look out into the garden.


	5. Part Three and a half

_**Will you Notice**_

**Part Three and a half**

_**A/n: Ok so as you know by now the "half" parts are Kurogane's and Fai's silent conversations. If you haven't noticed, as you'll need to for this part, **__'This is Fai' __**and **_**'This is Kurogane'**

I warp my arms around him. He tenses, I bury my face in his hair breathing in his scent. I say something stupid because I can't think of anything else.

**'Notice me'**

He replies emotionlessly as he slips out of my reach and doesn't look back.

_'Stop it'_

The fact that it's done in such a genuinely indifferent manner is the only thing that makes it so cold. If he would let himself be any temperature then maybe I would still have a chance.

His voice cheers as he say something to get my attention, he is turning into his old distant self.

**'No'**

He slips away again just as easily.

_'I wont give in'_

He turns around and walks away.

_'Not anymore'_

I follow.

**'I won't let you go'**

He refuses to let me walk next to him.

_'Keep your distance'_

I yell. I can't help being frustrated and he knows it. He ignores me, interrupts me.

_'You know it's not like that any more'_

I stare at him. I don't know what to say.

**'It's doesn't have to be'**

He continues to speak, it's their, the group's, plans.

_'It does'_

I walk behind him, listening to what I already knew would happen. What he s going to ask. He stops in front of the doors.

_'It's finally time'_

I stop too, giving him the space he needs. I sigh, and call his name.

**'Why are you doing this?' **

The pale magician puts his hand on the door, and in one quick movement sidles it open roughly with one hand.

_'Decide'_

I hesitate because 'm confused and unsure, he continues and asks that question adding to it "Kurogane-san?"

_'I want to hurt you'_

He turns and smiles that empty smile and leans on the door frame and looks out on to the garden and it's almost full moon.

_'I'm tired of waiting for something I already know'_

I reach out to him, but stop myself. He doesn't want me if I'm not leaving with them. I know this but . . .

**'I don't want let you go'**

Fai lowers his head looking down at the yutaka Tomoyo-hime had given him to wear. It really does look good on him.

_'Just say something'_


	6. Part Four

_**Will you Notice**_

**Part Four **

_**A/n: I dunno, I just thought that this part works better with the thoughts already present, so look out for those. **_

"God damn it! Look at me!" Kurogane yells at Fai as he brings himself closer. He doesn't know why he is so angry or maybe he understands that it's not Fai his angry with. No, he with the fact that Fai is like this because of him. 'This isn't what I wanted to happen'

A little shaken, but determined Fai lifts his head, looking up just a little beyond Kurogane. His hands clutch the side of his yutaka, it lends him little strength but it's enough.

"I am,"

"No, your not" Kurogane pins Fai to the door frame using his body, he holds Fai's face in one hand and forces the mage to look at him directly.

**'You think I wouldn't notice?'**

"Look at me" Kurogane tells Fai, voice softening, he uses his free hand to caress Fai's cheek.

**'Look only at me'**

Unable to free himself from Kurogane's hold, and unable to turn away, Fai averts his eyes, glancing down at the floor, away from Kurogane.

_'No'_

Kurogane feels a pang in his chest. His heart beating hurriedly and unsteadily, he watches himself start to untie the yukata forcefully with left hand, the hand that had just been caressing Fai only moments before, the other roughly warps its self around Fai's thin waits brining the pale man closer.

**'I need you, close to me, closer to me'**

Fai shuts his eyes tightly, he wriggles trying to release himself.

_'Don't do this'_

Fai feels the light material of the yukata slip off his left shoulder. Instantly he feels Kurogane's soft lips on his bare skin. He gasps at the pleasant feeling, and whimpers at the cruelty of it.

_'Please stop'_

**"I can't"**

He hears and feels the obai as it falls on the floor around Fai. His left hand makes it way under the the fabric of the now loose garment to feel warm smooth skin over the tight muscles of Fai's tone frame. Fai's hands push against Kurogane's shoulder.

**'i need this'**

_'Stop! Please'_

He push harder, fanatically away. He can feel his body react, he can feel the pull of the darker man's warmth start to envelop him. _'I can't do this, not anymore'_

"Stop Kurogane, this isn't- Kurogane, STOP!"

Kurogane press Fai against the door frame again. The slight man gasp in surprise, and the ninja takes the opportunity and forces his lips on Fai's. The blond can't bring himself to fight against that kiss, his body feels weak with want and need. He wants very much to melt into the kiss but he can't.

On a sudden burst of energy Fai kisses back harshly. '_I hate what you've done to me'_

Fai abruptly, and none too gently pushes Kurogane away, distracted and intoxicated by the kiss the brunet falls away. Fai clutches the yukata to him, keeping it closed and together as he glares down at Kurogane. Tears fill his livid blue eyes but he wont let them fall.

"Kurogane you can't- you can't expect me to do this! you hurt me. you lied to me. your staying here and i'll never see you again. I can't be with you. I won't do that to myself any more"

Slowly and cautiously he kneels down to pick up his obai.

_Please just stop. your only hurting me more'_

He looks Kurogane in the eyes then for only a moment, but the vision of sorrowful deep blue eyes stay imprinted in the rejected mans mind as the fair man stood and walked way.

Minutes later Kurogane notices the metallic, coppery takes in his mouth. There is blood on his lip, his lip might be bleeding from the fearce kiss. He closes his eyes and let himself lie fully on the floor, He covers his eyes with his arms, not bothering to wipe away the blood he is unsure is his own. He lets tears fall as sobs wrack his body.

"Damn it!"


	7. Part Five

_**Will you Notice**_

**Part Five**

"Kurogane, they will leaving tomorrow morning, from the garden." Tomoyo tells the ninja as she closes the door to his room behind her.

"Thought it was at noon" Kurogane replies as he lifts himself up from his futon to welcome Tomoyo.

Tomoyo stops his movements by a fluid movement of her hand. She turns away from him then and moves toward the door on the opposite side of the room. Her steps, her movements are graceful, flawless. They make her an unreal sight, her noiseless movements just adds to the idea. "I can't see them off if they do, I asked them to leave earlier"

Kurogane nods his understanding, he sits back down, left arm over folded knee and sword held firmly in his right hand.

"Are you not leaving with them?" Tomoyo asks as she opens the shoji screens. Instantly the room is flooded with soft moon light, bathing kurogane in it's glow. For a moment Kurogane has to close his eyes. The light too bright on his eyes, but it fades, his eye adjust.

"No, It is my duty to serve and protect you. I traveled with them to find my way back" He answers and Tomoyo moves out of the path of the light. She tilts her head. A sweet sound of chiming bells can me heard as her elaborate head dress is moved.

"You will not reconsider"

"I swore to keep you safe"

"I thought that would be your answer" Tomoyo looks out onto the grounds. "Will you miss them very much?"

Kurogane looks away .

Tomoyo-hime feels his movements and does not ask again. "It's almost a full moon, bright but dim in comparison to tomorrows light"

She reaches out, again the bells jangle. "It's appropriate. In this worlds a moon so close to completion is a symbols of missed chances or perseverance. The wises words from the past say, let the light guide your steps for all your tomorrows."

Her hand is still out stretched pall up, as if welcoming the light into the room "The light of moon the night before completion is a guide, if you follow it, it will let your future shinny even brighter. It can only be done with a full heart and troubled mind. It can only be denied by certainty"

Kurogane faces Tomoyo. He opens his mouth to say something, but she shakes her head. The sweet sounds of bells silencing him. Slowly she lowers her hand before she turns and walks towards Kurogane. The small clear sounds of silver bells following her.

"Sleep, and rest your weary head" She places her hand on his forehead. "Sleep"

She nods and moves away. Kurogane does not move to show her out, or watch her leave.

'Good bye' she says as she leaves, first opening and then closing the door behind her. The sound of bell following after her, but even after the doors closes behind her the sound still lingers in his room for a moment longer then normal.

He sighs feeling the day's events wear on him He looks over at the shoji screens Tomoyo had left open, for a moment he considers closing them but he doesn't. Instead he lies down on his bed and instantly falls asleep under the light of the moon, lulled by the sound of sweet chimes.


	8. Part Six

_**Will you Notice**_

**Part Six**

Kurogane wakes to sunlight assaulting his eyes. His thoughts are jumbled and unclear. He groans as he opens his eyes. Immediately he shuts them again and turns away from the bright light. He presses a hand to his temple, confused and disoriented.

Slowly he opens his eyes again hoping to gain some understanding of the situation.

For a few moments he squints, his eyes adjusting to the light. Siting up and looking around he remember that he is in his room. He shakes his head, how could he have forgotten? He sighs, and looks out past the open screen doors. The sun is still high in the sky but it is no longer early morning, he has overslept.

"I haven't over slept in a long time" He says aloud as he eyes the open screen doors. "Tomoyo-hime, she opened those . . . "

_**' . . . **__They will leaving tomorrow morning, from the garden.'_

_Kurogane can feel his hear stop as he remembers Tomoyo's words again he looks out at the bright sunlight, had he missed saying good bye?_

_With out thinking and bothering to take even take his sword he runs out of his room. Quickly he makes his way down the hall ways turning sharply at the bend, narrowly avoiding a few unsuspecting servants he continues on his long way toward the garden. _

_He can picture the idiot magician smiling at him. _

Run.

_He can see the face he made the night before. He can see the magical asleep on the floor in that hotel from that distant water world. _

Run faster. Turn.

_He can see Fai smiling, fawning over the beauty found in this world. See him talking and playing with the white pork bun. _

Avoid, run.

_Smiling gently, genuinely as he watches after Sakura and Syaoran._

Turn.

_'I love you'_

Door. Garden.

"Fai!"

He can see Mokona's wings extended, those familiar symbols appearing around them. Tomoyo-hime's back is to him, but it doesn't matter, because just past her is Fai.

Fai is glancing away, watching the cherry blossom petals as they fall. They will be gone soon, and his feet can't carry him any faster.

"FAI!"

He reaches out his hand, passing my the princesses. He sees the magical turns just as Mokona starts to pull them in. Clear blue eye stare at him in surprise. He tries to get closer, bring himself near the slight man, but it's too late.

As Fai is pulled in, Kurogane can see the blond smile bittersweetly as tears finally make their way down pale cheeks. Pink lips form words that stay, even after he has disappears.

"Good bye"

_**A/n: I you didn't like this, there is still at least one more part to this. **_


	9. Part Seven

_**Will you Notice**_

**Part Seven**

Kurogane can feel his leg give out. He falls to his knees palms flat on the ground as his fingers dig into the ground beneath him. His inside are restless while his chest feels hollow. His mind is still raising, images of the blond lunatic flashing before him.

He stays that way, motionless for a long time.

He doesn't he doesn't realize he has stayed that way for so long, but when he comes back to reality, he can feel his body trembling and his cheeks tight, from dried tears.

"They're gone"

He can feel that Tomoyo-hime is still standing there. "I'll never see him again"

"Yes"

"I wouldn't be able to find him"

"I can't send you away again, I could only do it once"

Kurogane clench his hands into fits. His body begins to shake violently, his voice raising with every word he says "Why didn't they wait for me? Why didn't you ask them to wait?!

"They weren't ever my choices. They could not wait, and I could not make you say good bye."

"Why didn't you wake me!" Kurogane roars.

She sighs.

"I didn't want you to have to see them leave" Kurogane hold his head tightly in his hands, not being able to believe his ears.

Kurogane shakes his head. He breaths in deeply, trying to calm himself. Slowly he turns to look up at Tomoyo, expecting to see the sunny garden but she is standing in front of a moon lit night sky.

"How long . . .?"

Tomoyo-hime smiles softly. Slowly she tilts her head, causing the silver bells in her head dress to chime. The sweet sound resonates for a long while.

Kurogane's eyes open wide as he notices the moon. It's light, it's shape. It is not a full moon.

"The light of the incomplete moon is the guide for uncertainty, certainty is it's only stopper"


	10. Part Seven and a half

_**Will you Notice**_

_**Part Seven and a half **_

Slowly, as if she is turning into smoke, her from disappears. Confused Kurogane reaches out trying to catch her but his hands pass her by her, feeling only cold air. His hand does end up catching something. He looks down at his hand to long snow white hair. The strands feel weightless almost unreal, like mist.

Kurogane holds on to the strands, and looks up. They lead to a very beautiful man. He looks like an angle, wings drawn back, almost hidden from view. His skin is ivory pale and smooth. He is dapped with crisp white, cool gray and blue robes adorned solely by a single blue sapphire over his chest, where his heart would be.

His features are delicate, small pink lips, small button nose and long curving lashes. Still his eyes are large and an intense molten silver as they stare at Kurogane behind long silky bangs. Kurogane has a hard time looking away, as the cat like eyes stare back, demanding he speak.

"what- Who are you? . . . " Then Kurogane adds, as if an after though "Where is the princess?"

"I am the moon. I am it's light." He looks away, to were Tomoyo-hime had been "She, was never here"

Bemused Kurogane tries again "What's going on here? Why are you here?"

"I was called _here_, the real question is, why are _you_ still . . .?"

He lets his voice trail off, letting the silence finish his question.

Kurogane opens his mouth to argue but Yue spreads his wings. Slowly he pulls away, into the sky, his feet effortlessly leaving the ground. His hair slips from Kurogane's hold. The once silent garden is filled with the soft sound of flapping wings as the Moon, Yue, stares down at the dumbfounded Ninja.

"You have already made your decision, I am not needed here any more"

"Decision?"

"Not I, or all the nights I watch over, could ever give you the strength to witness those tears again . . . " Says the moon.

Kurogane can feel his heart wretch at the thought of seeing Fai's crying face again and that it would be the last time he would see the man . . .

"Neither could any one or anything satisfy your regret."


	11. Part Eight

_**Will you Notice**_

_**Part Eight**_

Kuroganes gasp as he wakes from his sleep. He sit up quickly needing to move, and feeling unsettled. He looks around his room confused and unsure of where he should be.

The room is filed with the moon's light. He isn't sure, but he feels the light is dimming, retreating from the room. He shake his head, telling himself that it was only his imagination . . .

He hears the light chiming of bells then.

_"Neither could any one or anything satisfy your regret."_

Slowly he brings his hand to his cheek and notices that his fingers feel stiff and swore, they're hard to move. Hesitantly his fingers grace his cheeks, feeling dried tear tacks on his cheek. He blinks, feeling the dryness of his eyes.

He slouches and turns to the open shoji screen doors and gazes at the moon.

He stays like that for a moment.

Wearily he start to move again. He gets to his feet and walks out on to the hall, bear foot and weaponless. He takes his time as he walks through the halls. His breathing is slow as his steps are, but his hands tremble slightly and his heart beats quickly, nervously.

Fai is there. His sleeping, breathing softly. He is just lying there. He can feel himself release a breath he had not known he was holding. Fai is still there. He tells himself, it had only been a dream. It had to have been.

After what seems like hours to him, he finds himself out side one of the guest bed rooms. He slides open the door gently as not to make a sound. For a moment he hesitates.

Fai isn't in his futon.

The Magician is found with his knees to his chest, arms warped around them defensively with his head resting on his knee caps.

He is not a sleep.

Kurogane closes the door behind him.

He reaches over, fingers barely grasping Fai's hair.

Fai's head shoots up right away. When he recognizes the face he quickly moves away.

For a moment Kurogane wavers again, but it's gone in an instant.

He carefully takes Fai by his shoulder and brings him closer. He warps his arms around the blond. Fai struggles against this, but before he can say anything Kurogane pins him to the floor with his body.

Surprised by this Fai doesn't speak. Just looks up at the ninja. Silently he asks Kurogane his question.

The darker mans lowers himself even more, he rest his head on the crock of Fai's neck. After he has breath in Fai's familiar scent, he can feel himself relax, something that he had not been able to do since he came back. He wants to bury himself in Fai's hair, arms . . . everything. How could he have even though of letting him go.

He lift his lips to Fai's ear.

He whispers, "Don't ever let me, let go of you"__

**A/n: Hey, So yeah, that's pretty much it. This is the story I wanted to write when I started in writing 'Think of Me' but it just didn't work then. I'm thinking of doing like a small epilog but that might be a while since I'm going to go finish off 'Expectation of Approval" now, I've been writing that one for too long now.**

**Any way, Review and let me know what you thought.**


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